Upon the insistence of a friend, I watched “Message in a Bottle” today. My friend said it would help me see things from a different perspective. It was a snow day. I have a wretched head cold. It was on instant Amazon Prime. Sure. Good day to do it.
My eyes were watery and my nose was running anyway so I probably didn’t go through much more Kleenex than I would have without the movie, but holy crap. That Nicholas Sparks sure knows how to get to a girl.
And I mean - a girl. I’m willing to bet my new guitar that men are not one bit phased by his philosophical-sounding one-liners and quick back and forth exchanges,
For example:
Him: I don’t want to lose you.
Her: Then don’t.
I actually used this line once: the “Then don’t” part. I think Mr. Sparks stole it from me. However, it didn’t have the same pause-for-reflection effect it had in the movie when I used it. I’m pretty sure it pissed off the person to whom it was said.
You know why? Because by saying such simplistic things, you imply that emotions are simple, that life is simple, that there is a simple and obvious choice and if that choice is not taken, the person not taking it is stupid, selfish, and short-sighted.
Here’s another:
“Choose yesterday or today and stick with it.”
Girls know what he’s talking about and can temper that black or white ultimatum but boys are more literal. Give them that sort of choice and…? Yes. They will be pissed off. Why? Because it’s not that simple.
But girls want it to be that simple. We do. And that’s why we fall for those lines of Nicholas Sparks. That's why we go through half a box of Kleenex watching his movies. That’s why we post Nicholas Sparks memes on Facebook and Twitter. Because we want life to be that simple.
It isn’t.
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