It's Not About Autism

"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." ~ Lucille Ball

That’s how I feel about the subject material on which I’m about to pontificate. I’m a speak first, regret later kind of person. The following reflects the way I feel. I’m not always a mainstream thinker and occasionally I piss someone off. Keep that in mind.

I have a son on the Autism spectrum. Let’s call him Michael. He’s been labeled with Asperger’s Syndrome although that’s no longer a diagnosis according to the DSM V. This is probably good news to my ex-husband (let’s call him Edward), who I believe is similarly afflicted, but will deny it to the ends of the earth. This is ironic since Edward is all too happy to embrace the diagnosis as it applies to our son. He’s happy that because of that diagnosis we’re able to get Michael the help that Edward wished he’d had when he was growing up.

I digress.

I love my son. I think he’s the most fabulously talented, funny, warm, loving boy I know. I am not, however, one of many mothers of children with Autism who write and talk about how much she wishes everyone else could see how wonderful her child is or how difficult it is to have a child on ‘the spectrum.’

You won’t find me posting about the tremendous pressures of raising a child with autism. I don’t have a monopoly on difficult child-rearing. You might find me posting about the amount of wine I consume on a nightly basis, however, but that’s different.

Michael is eleven years old. He knows he has Asperger’s. He knows he’s different and he understands his challenges and issues. He also knows that everyone has a issue but that no two people’s issues are the same.  Which brings me to my point.

We all have issues and challenges and we all deal with them and we all do the best we can. Some have more difficult challenges than others. You don’t have to look far to find someone worse off. Every time I read an article, a tweet, or a post about Autistic individuals, whatever is being said can be applied to anyone. For example, I just now read this:

In autism the processing of all information, sensory, verbal etc alters the person’s perception of the world and how they interact in it...

No two people see the world the same way. Nor do any two autistic people see the world the same way. The above statement applies to everyone, not just autistic people.

This is what I tell Michael: Get over it. Make the best of things and do something worthwhile with your life. Have fun, for God’s sake. Figure out what you need to do to survive and who can help you. And, Michael, I’m going to point it out to you anytime you’re doing something that will cause other people to think you’re weird. I'm going to do this because I love you and your life will be easier if other people don’t think you’re weird and life is about getting along with other people. If other people don't think you're weird, you'll get along better.

But really… who isn’t weird? Let them cast the first stone.