Happy New Year!

Last week was exhausting.

In a good way.

I’ve been a teacher for thirty-three years and for the seventeen years prior to being a teacher, I was a student, so my years don’t start on January 1st, they start in the middle of August, and therefore, last week was the beginning of a new year.

New beginnings make me think about past beginnings, so I was thinking about the past few beginnings and thinking this year’s beginning is the best one in a very long time. It's also not the new beginning that I expected a few short months ago.

If you’ve been following along, you know the last couple of years have been fraught with drama and despair and just in general not being sure about anything at all. The only thing I was sure of was that I wanted something entirely different. Kind of. Maybe not entirely.

I still wanted to be in love, but I wanted to be in love with someone else - someone who accepts that all the complications in my life make me who I am and loves me anyway.

I still wanted to be a teacher, but I wanted to teach somewhere else - somewhere where what I do is appreciated and I have colleagues with whom I can collaborate.

I still wanted to be a parent, but…    

You’re thinking I wanted to be the parent of someone else’s children - right?

Oh, come on. Really? 

No. 

I just wanted my children to be okay and my stress level to decrease just a tad where they are concerned. 

This year has started off with a new job - one that actually has benefits.

This year has started off with my kids being more okay than they’ve been in a long time.

And most importantly, I’m starting this year off in love with someone who knows that the job and kids are part of who I am and he’s okay with that and he loves me anyway.

So this week I started a new year. 

With a new attitude.

And sleep deprivation.

I’ll catch up eventually. 

Or not.

Whatever. 

Sleep is overrated. 

Enjoying life when it’s good is better. 

You can follow me on Twitter: @CeceliaHalbert

The Boys of Summer

I spent a lot of time reading tweets this week and not so much time posting or responding. It was a week full of difficult news. Robin Williams' death hit me like a ton of bricks and I’m still getting weepy every time I see a tribute or video or even just his picture.

Wednesday night I watched, via Twitter, the frightening live feed of police attacking peaceful protesters in Ferguson, Missouri.

I read about refugees and children in horrible circumstances all over the world. 

Every day there’s a story about violence on the streets of Chicago. 

But then… I read about these boys of summer. Twelve and thirteen year old boys from the south side of Chicago who are doing something spectacular. 

They’re playing baseball. 

They’re playing baseball with heart and soul and amazing talent and it’s gotten them to the Little League World Series in South Williamsport, Pennsylvania and more than that, it’s gotten Chicago up on its feet, cheering them on.

I wasn’t at the huge outdoor viewing party at Jackie Robinson Field on Sunday made possible by the city along with the Chicago White Sox. I watched the game on ESPN in my living room, but I felt like I was part of the crowd anyway. Everyone, even out here in the suburbs, is talking about these boys with the same pride and enthusiasm they’d have for any of Chicago’s pro sports teams. 

Cubs fans are ready to sign Pierce Jones up now. He went four for four, hitting three home runs and a triple in their opener then talked to the press with a brilliant smile and the poise of a seasoned pro.

The next game for Jackie Robinson West, representing the Great Lakes region, is on Sunday. Want to restore your faith in humanity? Watch these kids play ball. 

You can follow me on Twitter: @CeceliaHalbert

Getting Over It

So while my um..  level 7* was away on a musical tour of the northeast the last two weeks, I had some extra time to think about things and what I thought about was how much I really love him. Just knowing he was more than forty miles away made my heart hurt.

Bear with me. This is not going to be a completely lovelorn sappy post. Promise.

I also had time to do a few things I don’t do as often as I’d like. 

Things like writing, and practicing the guitar. Not things like cleaning bathrooms or dusting. God forbid.

So what I wrote was a song about how being apart made me realize how much I loved him. 

Songs aren’t much use on paper though, and the problem, you see, is that I’m a horrible singer. “No,” you say, “you do just fine.” Well….  I don’t do just fine. I have two degrees in music and I know a bad singer when I hear one and I hear one when I hear me. Too bad I can’t just play the guitar (at which I don’t suck) and pass out the lyrics to the audience to read to themselves.

Level 7 and I go out to open mics on a regular basis where he champions great folk music and also sings lots of lovely original songs. He’s written a few with me in mind and I’ll tell you there is nothing more touching than having your love on stage singing a song he wrote for you. 

Seems like I could do the same for him but it terrifies me. So I sing the song in my living room where nobody hears my awful voice.

Also, while he was gone, I had extra time to spend with my kids. It’s summer, you know, and they wanted to go to the big water park. 

Side note: I’ve had a rather stressful year and put on some weight that I’m not terribly happy about. 

Going to the water park with them meant I would be walking around in a swimsuit all day amidst untold numbers of people in bright sunshine. 

Terrifying.

But I did it.

I spent the day with my kids and we had a blast. We went on a ride that was like being flushed down a giant toilet. 

Awesome. 

Of course there were gorgeous young girls with flat abs in bikinis and tan men with chiseled six-packs, but there were a lot of older moms and dads like me who have possibly reached the I-don’t-care-what-people-think phase of their lives. Some looked better than me and some looked worse and they were just there to have fun with their kids and I quit caring about what I looked like.  

So that's what I thought about last night when I got behind the microphone and sang the song I wrote. It started off pretty awful, but I think it got slightly better, and really there was only one person in the audience whose opinion mattered. 

Hope he liked it.

*See previous blog post: Relationship Status

You can follow me on Twitter: @CeceliaHalbert